Memoirs of Love_Princewill Esekhile

MEMOIRS OF LOVE: Esekhile Princewill’s soon to be released book

The woman
I remember her eyes like
It was yesterday.
Lovely, beautiful eyes
That effused lust
And youth, intense desire
And ambition.
Yet I loved her priceless gaze
That could cut through stone
Like a knife through bread.

Ahh, we were in love
Wild and renegade,
We had fled the estates
Of our parents.
We had so many dreams
And wishes,
The world was ours
To enjoy and cherish,
And like birds recently
Freed from their nests
We roamed far and high.

I will never forget
The touch of her fingers
How fire would flow through my veins
How our breaths would rhyme
As we consummated our unbridled
Passions in ecstasy .
Her flawless skin,
Her alluring voice
That made me weak to
My knees.
The wink, ah the great
Deep wink of lust:
That wink controlled my passions;
It made my flesh long and burn
For her it was
As though I was on
Her leash.

We had little money
But we settled in a distant land
Soon enough.
She was a hard worker
She rarely ever sighed in fatigue ,
She was beautiful and industrious
And she was mine,
She loved my intelligence
And often said that
It made me ten times
More than
The men of my age,
And any man she ever knew
And I laugh as I say this
But In saying all of that she would yet boast
That her love made me crazy and foolish
For her alone.
Life With her was nothing less than
Or just a hair’s breath from paradise.

But the enigma that is called time
Which changes everything as she herself changes
Changed the paradise of our love into a wilderness.
First we couldn’t have children ,
We tried everything
But it seemed as though the scorching flame
Of our love could not even light a candle.
Irene cried for days,and months;
Those days of tears brought darkness
To my soul, seeing my beloved weep in anguish.
Soon she immersed her self in her work
And like a man who drowned his anguish in the lake of whiskey
My woman ,rather the woman drew away from me.
I tried to reach out to her, but she seemed headed for a path
I could not follow.
We became richer, yea greatly increased in wealth
But our romance was starved of its bread
Left to perish like a pauper on the street.

Years later a miracle happened;
She became pregnant.
Oh what joy , what delight
The warmth we felt was beyond words .
Our lives restarted
As though we had newly fallen In love
Our romance flourished and
The woman and I
Had such strong and strange outbursts
Of bodily passion
That I feared we would loose the baby.
But soon enough, a storm came
Unexpected, but so dark
That it wiped our joys away.

Because of work
The woman came home late often.
I tried without success
To cajole her to stay home more because
our child and joy,
But she,being quite stubborn refused.
And so one rainy night
After my heart had had its share
Of depressing worries and anxieties
I waited at the door for her return.
Oh I was mad, I shouted when she arrived
And we exchanged hot and angry words
i cannot to this moment
Remember what I said
When she slapped me,
Oh anger is a horrible thing ;
She hurled objects at me
I docked , some hit me
I went closer to her
Fuming in rage
Yet she slapped me
Again, again and yet again
And with all the self control I could muster
I held her hands and pushed her towards the sofa
In retaliation, but I missed and she fell hard
On the marble stool
Then, after a long pause with a deafening silence,
blood flowed from her
At that time sanity returned to me
But it was too late
Our joy was lost…

She wept incessantly
This time, she refused to work
But stayed indoors all day
She wore no make up
Or fancy clothes
She ate little
And life was slowly
Leaving her body
She hurled insults at me everyday
And called me a murderer
I begged, I wept,I repented sorely
But her love for me had turned to disgust
And on that fateful night
At our last dinner
She looked most beautiful .

I returned from work to find the house
Nicely decorated, the bed adorned with
Flowers and spices and aromas
That called for intimacy.
She looked so beautiful,
Tears filled my eyes
She cooked a most wonderful dinner
But soon enough we were on the bed;
It was rapturous what she did to me
And what I did to her
It was as though her flame burnt me
And I burnt her in return,
But in the height of our blisful intimacy
She stabbed my arm with a needle
And poison rushed freely into my blood
My body grew numb, i was in pain
I tried to scream, but could not find the voice,
All I had were my eyes, asking her why
Still atop me, she placed her hand on my lips
And said to me “this is goodbye my love”.
Tears flowed from my eyes
But i saw none in hers.
It was as though I was thrown inside the deepest part
Of hell’s dungeon itself
My eyes slowly closed
And they reopened two days later in
A hospital, she was gone forever
No one knew her whereabouts
I even mustered the insanity to visit her parents
Who welcomed me with a shotgun,
I never saw her again

I drowned in despair
A part of me died
I wept and screamed her name in my nightmares
Every night I would see her
Walking, then running deep into the meadow
And I would not find her.
Once she was almost in my grasp
Then a mighty mind carried her away
After that dream I sunk low
To depths I am ashamed to write of.
It was in the living room of sorrow
That my wife found me
And led me to the good Shepard .
My wife was my medicine
She healed me ,but it took years.. Hard years

I told her all about the woman
And surprisingly my wife longed to meet her also.
Unknown to her, I had kept a portrait of the woman
In our safe where we had chosen to keep
Family heirlooms.
She caught me staring at the oil painting one midnight,
I was full of guilt and shame
I could see the searing pain in her eyes full of tears
And I lay down at her feet begging for forgiveness.
She looked at me, and mustered a chuckle when she saw
The portrait, and said that I had such a poor taste in women
Before I met her.
Then she boasted that she was fairer and more beautiful than the woman
I said nothing, she picked me up
Kissed me,And forgave me.
To my greatest shock she told me to keep the portrait
That the day she would meet the woman, she would
Hand it to her personally.
20 Years later when we were relaxing and playing
Like young lovers at the park
She jokingly asked to see the portrait again
I froze, I had destroyed it 20 years earlier
She was furious, so furious..
But that was the last part of Irene I had left
And it had to be gone

But it seems that the world of fate
Completes its orbit every now and then
Perhaps after numerous years:
3 days ago, at the airport
Waiting for my granddaughters to run into my arms
I heard a voice in the distance , a laughter
I froze in shock, it couldn’t be
It couldn’t be her, my heart raced
My breathing stopped, then resumed
As I turned slowly,
And there she was, with two young boys
She was so happy
Her hair had greyed, yet her beauty still remained divine
I just remained frozen and stared like
A blind man who had just seen the light for the first time
Then one of her boys pointed at me
And she looked, then our eyes met
She looked like she had seen her greatest nightmare
Her eyes were wide open and she covered her mouth
No one moved
We stared and spoke with our eyes
Like we usually did way back,
Some 50 years ago.
all the memories flooded in an instant
I could feel the pain in my left arm
I didn’t know when I held that arm and I winced
Then tears flowed from her eyes
And I saw, what I didn’t see the day she said goodbye ;
Sorrow and repentance, and a ray of love.
Finally I had met the woman again
And just as I contemplated on taking the first step
Her son came and took her away
She followed him, and took one last glance at me
And quickly waved.
I waved back and i knew it was goodbye.

Oh how i wish my wife could see this day
Theresa my light, by providence
Is of blessed memory.
She waited and longed for 48 wonderful years
To meet the woman in person.
God furnished our happy marriage with joy and peace
And he gave me a quiver of 5 godly and wonderful
arrows.
My first and only son, God took
As a war hero and veteran
The sorrows I bore, I cannot now explain
In words .
I had also shown him the portrait when he was young
And wild and in love
And told him the story of the woman to tame his youth
Which thankfully it did
But he also bore the obsession of wanting to meet the woman in person
In his eyes, she was great; she had saved him
From going berserk and falling astray
And he also left this earth without meeting the woman

At this point I know not what to do
With this writing of mine.
For the better part of this paper has been drowned
In my tears.
I am a man of sorrows,
Death and loss have dealt me mercilessly.
Thankfully my journey as a pilgrim
Is at an end.
And I will soon rejoin my light
In the chambers of transcendent glory.
But while I walk this lonely dark and windy road,
The portrait of the woman
Ever remains in the treasure hall of my heart
And in the annals of my history .
I must meet her again,
I must hold her hand again
And hear her voice.
My heart aches, for I want to know
How her life has been since she entered the meadow
Once again, like a young restless man
I long for and earnestly desire
The woman.

 

written by:

Princewill Esekhile

Find more on Princewill’s blog here: http://pezi01.wordpress.com/

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