Portrait of american football player with head in hand --- Image by © Edwin Jimenez/Corbis

Portrait of american football player with head in hand — Image by © Edwin Jimenez/Corbis

Hey! This is no way a religious article, about heaven, hell, devil, angels, rapture… Naah! Not that kind of hell, but a more intimate one, an always present hell, a hell we have gotten used to, more like a roommates we are stuck with, who you just have to live with because you can’t get rid of, even if they drive you crazy. More like the price tag attached to the order.

Life is beautiful, family, friendship, hopes, dream, beauty, music, art, fear, uncertainty, make up, fashion, plastic surgery, soccer, technology. Life; full of beauty, bursting with energy with couple crazy side attractions sickness, death and birth, break ups and make ups, education, career, divorce…

Nobody actually wants to die, ask the ones that have committed suicide, they were actually not tired of living, they either just missed the life they use to have or the life they fantasized about and simply got tired of living in the euphoria of their dream.

I came home with the excitement of successfully completing my Bachelor’s degree after five years of labor, sleepless nights, coffee, crazy lectures, assignments, thesis and projects, falling in and out of love, victories and defeats and really hoped to meet heaven, a place where I will be celebrated as the new Engineer, or better still left alone with myself, with my privacy. But I have a sweet mother who was too concerned about losing control of her 2* year old son, so she took her time driving me crazy by her unlimited instructions, demands and complaints, that was my hell.

Yours may be totally different from mine. Maybe an over demanding boss that expect you to deliver an output that is way beyond your pay check without even a simple courtesy of a “thank you”, not to mention a consideration for a raise. Or a nagging wife, who use to be your perfect angel, harmless sweetie pie now stuck in your throat, Impossible to spew out, but can’t swallow either. You never knew the heavenly marriage would end up with a little hell stuck by its side. Yours is probably worse, having been molested by your lesson teacher nine times, the lesson teacher family friend your parents entrusted to give you a solid academic foundation that will make you a world leading inventor, though it has been seventeen years now, but it feels like just yesterday and to make matter worse, the lesson teacher now lives on your street with his beautiful family of four but your own life has been left shattered into pieces.

We are haunted by a hell at one time or the other and it’s just natural to seek an escape, no one wants to be caught up in hell. So we head for the closest exit, a bottle of liquor, a wrap of marijuana, codeine, playboy magazine, a fake identity, a bitter resentful attitude. But if you will be sincere with yourself none of this seems to work, at least in the long run. So are we stuck in the shit hole of hell captioned as “life”?

Naah! There is always an answer to every question. Let me attempt to answer this. I don’t claim master in this, remember we are in this together, but I just find it hard or impossible to be sad or angry of late. Let me share some of my secrets.

1. ONLY GOD IS PERFECT, STOP EXPECTING MAN TO BE.

I don’t expect people not to abuse or hurt or harm me, they are meant to be humans, not angels, at least this is the excuse I make for them so when I’m hurt, I am not taking off guard. Please don’t get me wrong, not all humans are devils, some have come to learn to nurture to full maturity the God nature in them, but what of those that have not?

I believe in people, but I don’t put my trust in them to the level where I am hurt by their human tendencies. This leads to my next point.

2. LEARN TO GIVE EXCUSE FOR PEOPLE, EVEN BEFORE YOU HEAR THEIR SIDE OF THE STORY.

Imagine this;

He is supposed to pick you up by 7:00pm at your place for a long anticipated date. You have planned this evening for weeks, you have on a dress which you finally settled for after two hours of going over you’re the best of your closet and the perfume you are wearing, this is just the 5th time you will be using it since 6 months you’ve had it. Now it’s almost 8pm and no sign of his car, no call, no text and his number isn’t reachable. You will be a liar not to say that you won’t be fuming with anger at that point.

Now you have two options, to either flare up, rain curse words, and shout about how all guys are the same, just like your ex, delete his number right after sending a text to him never call you or look for you again. OR, think to yourself, maybe he was kidnapped… Lol

All I’m saying is; be a little positive about every disappointment, though it may never undo the action, but it will at least save your blood pressure. Instead of thinking the worse, think Phil 4:8; Whatever things are true, noble, just, pure, lovely, of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy.

“Summing it all up, friends, I’d say you’ll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse.”(MSG)

3. WHAT IS YOUR IMPRESSION AND CONVICTIONS ABOUT YOURSELF

Life leaves no room for a vacuum, so if you don’t have a grounded knowledge of who you are, a strong conviction of where you are headed, life will feed you with what to believe. As failing an exam doesn’t mean you are a failure or having no guy to ask you out on a date doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with you. Just as using my Apple iPad mini to play table tennis does not make it a tennis pad even though it is being abused. In the same way you are not what you have been tagged to be or used or abused as. Nothing living or dead, en vogue or obsolete can come close to making me think I am anything less than royalty, a peculiar person, a treasure because that was what I was tagged as in my makeup manual; the bible, “1 Peter 2:9”, thanks for your opinion, but you don’t know better than my creator. The same book says that you are God’s own workmanship, his special handiwork. Rise up from that beggarly state in your mind and you will be surprised how everything around will change to conform to that image in your heart. Remember, as a man thinks in his heart, so he is or so he becomes.

4. YOU WILL WIN BECAUSE YOU HAVE WON

There is nothing more motivating than an expected end, regardless of the process or price to pay on the path to it. Processes are not exciting at all, ask successful athletes, models or artists. But all they have to pay or endure won’t matter when the trophy, the award or the check is in their hand. For you one thing is sure.

For the good man–the blameless, the upright, the man of peace–he has a wonderful future ahead of him. For him there is a happy ending.” Also rendered by another author as “Mark the perfect man, and behold the upright: for the end of that man is peace.” These are the greatest King that ever lived.

Check out my post DEFYING GRAVITY and YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL for more.

On this note, I will put a pause on this. If something comes up, or I get a question, then I will reopen the post, but till then, you were not made for that hell, set yourself loose.

It’s ISSUESCOPE, let me hear your opinion on this.

*****

Thank you for reading. I’m really looking forward to seeing a comment from you. 

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Yours,
@tee_Abraham
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