I bet we’ve all been guilty of this and will still be in the shortest time possible.
“I’m fine” has been reduced to a default response to the question “how are you“. This act can’t be so much condemned as the question. “How are you” itself is nothing more than just courtesy, a greeting, next to “good morning” or “good whatever the occasion or time it is”.
How many people actually care to hear the true answer of “How are you”? Which persons care about how you really are? Even if they care, how many have the patience to wait, listen and empathize or celebrate with you? Can we please care about the response to our “HOW ARE YOUs” or better still not ask at all, because a lot of times I really wish some would care enough to really be interested in how I really am.
I realize most times, over a mobile/online chat or even while talking in person, I give more than “I’m fine” as a response, because it just sounds sincere to me, except I’m not interested in prolonging the chat or if I feel the person I am chatting with doesn’t really care enough to know.
To the main reason of today’s post: Most of our “I’m fines” are pure lies. We’ve just been accustomed to telling people what we think they want to hear. Are you really fine?
I’ve got into a couple of scuffles with a lot of people by insisting on knowing whether the response “I’m fine” is really how they are or just a default or made up response for whatever the reason is.
I believe this post is dual in purpose- first imploring that the enquirer be sincere about their “How are yous” or not ask at all, just in case they meet someone who really want to share how they are just to be met with a deaf ear . To the responder, don’t say it’s fine when “how are you” is not asked for the sake of asking. I’m sure you’ll be able to discern which is sincere and which is not.
So, from me to you, “HOW ARE YOU?” Feel free to reply via any of my contact links below 🙂 , I’m waiting.
The first post in this series is titles GREATEST LIE EVER TOLD: I LOVE YOU, it’s really worth reading, click the title or HERE to check it out.
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The World is in chaos…
Earth cries out for saviours
Heaven shouts..’Who will go for us?’
How and When will the saviours arise?
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“I’m fine”lolz……I feel soo guilty afta reading dis post..cos actually often tym we tell pple we re cos words cnt rili xplain how we feel and we jst try to be strong nd say”I’m fine”…..I lik it dat both d enquirer and d responder to be sincere….Thanks bro..I celebrate u
Well, Tolu, I’m highly of the opinion that we all need to be more creative in our conversations… For example, if I’m asked by a friend at the end of a long day… “how are you?” My most likely answer would be “I’m fine”. It’s more of a learned answer… a psychological ingrain… a thing of habit. And old habits die hard. On the flip side, If I was asked by that friend – “What part of your day was most memorable?”, my response would obviously have been noticeably different.
Also, let’s say, for sake of argument, that my friend is really not interested in how my day was… then, the question “how are you?” should be his perfect alibi against an unwanted or prolonged conversation.
For now, I think “how are you?” deserves that kind of answer. And looking at it objectively, what other answer could there be? The potential of that question in itself is quite limited. After we’ve all played with the regular, or cliched word soups of “fine!… or wonderful!… or great!…” there’s really not much left to say.
When we start asking new questions, we’d start getting new answers.
Hmmmm never under estimate the power of love