Lady in evening dress sleeping on floorI want to start this post with the words Propaganda said in a spoken word performance, “Son, I couldn’t see past the bombs, The first one didn’t kill me and the second one ain’t even happened, Yet it ended our family“. My point; how true and sad the real bad thing hadn’t happened yet, but still has the same effect as if it happened. This is like the situation in today’s episode of DAMAGE. Happy reading.

I am not sharing my experience with you so I would be pitied by you. NO!

As a kid of about 6/7/8years, I loved going on vacations to my cousin’s houses. I would jump so fast at every weekend break. It happened that on one of these occasions, I was at my cousin’s house. They had the children of their family friends (all boys) living with them at that time and the house was also a big one with some flats rarely used. I can’t recall the entire scene completely, but I was in one of the flats with one of the boys who was about five years older than me.

He came beside me and he started rubbing my body. He rubbed everywhere, put his hands in my pants and kept on rubbing. I was totally naive, so I didn’t say anything. (Sex education is good. As soon as your children can speak, teach them little things before an aunty or uncle abuses them). There was a bed in the room. He told me to lie down on it and that he would lie on top of me OR He would lie down and then I would lie on top of him. Sincerely speaking, I had no clue what that could lead to but I gave the excuse that my tummy would pain me if I did. So I didn’t. I left the place immediately. (Now I know that it was the abiding grace of God that kept me from getting raped).

That one incident did not leave me without scars. I found out that something was awoken in me. I started masturbating from that time and these kept on for several years. It wasn’t until a few years back until I was able to trace the source. I could masturbate anywhere without anyone noticing. These kept on and on. The scars that episode left were more of emotional and psychological. As I grew older, I came to know that what I was doing was wrong, but I would try to stop it but fall back into it all over again.

I was always in the maze of self-condemnation. Tried and tried on my own to stop it, but I could not help myself. I received the life of Christ, but there were still times I would fall back into this habitual sin. I could not open my mouth to tell anyone what I was going through. Through it all, God’s abiding grace kept me and brought me out.

I surrounded myself with the right company and especially with the word of God.

–          We are no longer slaves to sin

–          Resist the devil.

–          Flee temptation – God’s word doesn’t tell us to be spiritual about temptation by trying to fight with it. It says “Flee.

The turning point came when I realised it was an oppression. How can I be a born again child of God and be masturbating? I prayed and yes, God answers prayers. I look back and I thank God. It could have been worse. I look forward and thank God because I have a better understanding.

Today, I am no longer a slave. I am free, redeemed. I am not damaged. I am unspoiled.

As much as temptations come around, always flee.  When you come to the end of yourself, God will help you. His strength is made perfect in our weaknesses.

“All praise to the God and Father of our Master, Jesus the Messiah! Father of all mercy! God of all healing counsel! He comes alongside us when we go through hard times, and before you know it, he brings us alongside someone else who is going through hard times so that we can be there for that person just as God was there for us. We have plenty of hard times that come from following the Messiah, but no more so than the good times of his healing comfort- we get a full measure of that, too.”- 2 Corinthians 1:3-5 (MSG Translation).

What God delivered me from, He sent me to. I hope this has been a blessing to somebody. I know it has.

There is no form of addiction that is contrary to God’s will that you can’t be delivered from. If God did it for me, He will do it for you.

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We all have a story, most of which we are not proud of, but all from which we must have learned a thing or two. Share your story here.

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