One of the things I cherish about myself is that I am an opportunist. I am always on the lookout for an opportunity to explore, not to exploit people. Because of this, I can be good at spotting opportunities. However, while there are people like myself that expend every single opportunity to explore, develop or raise their profile, so are people looking for the slightest opportunity to weigh others down. Such kind of people are P.hD (Pull Him Down) holders. They always give excuse on why you succeed or do better. They never see the good in you. They will never affirm or validate you. They give reasons not to celebrate you even when you deserve to be celebrated. These are the people to watch out for.
Recently, the organization I used to work with organized a training for us. It was held in a hotel. In one the sessions, we were divided into groups after which we were given topics to discuss among ourselves. Each group was expected to select a presenter. The topics were chosen through a raffle. I was excited because I wanted to represent my group, though I concealed it.
Fortunately for my group, we chose an interesting topic. It was a topic I was familiar with. Before they could say jack, I called for a brief meeting with my group members. First of all, I asked them what they knew about the topic after which I shared my thought on it. After the meeting, I excused myself and I returned, they unanimously and equivocally appointed me to represent them. I assured them that we would be the best group.
My group was the first and immediately after our lunch, we reconvened and my group was called. I was so confident that while introducing the topic, I told them before I made my presentation I wished to clarify a misconception because it was a controversial one. This drew their attention. The audience was held spellbound as they were wow with my presentation.
At the end of the presentation, they applauded me. When it was time for comments and observation, those that spoke commended me for a job well done, adding that it was quite impressive. In the course of commendation, other group members became weak. To add salt to the injury, the facilitator said, because of my impressive presentation, he doubted if any group could do better.
I was applauded and cheered until I returned to my seat. While others were cheering me, a colleague said she could have done better if she was the one. In fact, she claimed that it was my undergraduate project topic. After that, she started pinpointing ‘errors’ in my presentation. My boss who was there said even if it was my project topic, I deserved to be celebrated as he asked ‘’how many of you can remember your project in school?”
Just lately, a friend of mine defended his thesis in school. After his presentation, he answered all the questions he was asked. He wowed the lecturers that they were pleased with him. Some even admitted that they had never come across some of his submissions. While they congratulated him, a disgruntled lecturer said he did well because he memorized the work.
These kinds of people are capable of robbing you of your self-worth. And if you depend on them to be happy, celebrated, validated or affirmed, you will be the most unhappy and frustrated person.
Always watch out for such people. As they make their ill-conceived assertion, just allow it to enter and pass through the other ear. You do not even need to argue with them. You will always see or meet with them but always remember that people only throw stones at mangoes that are ripe.