Couple Outdoors Holding HandsYeah, I am back from church and I had a great service at Global Harvest with Pastor Femi Aladesanmi (my NYSC year church 🙂 ), and I feel a great urge to share my sermon note with you guys. It’s 6 things the woman wants in her man and 6 things the man wants in his woman. Thus, these are the things you want in a spouse.

Brace yourself, some will hit you like a thunderbolt, some will make you laugh, but of it all you will discover that you will nod your head all through it all affirming every single point. So let us start with the anchor text, 1 Peter 3:1-7

1 Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives,
2 when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear.
3 Do not let your adornment be merely outward–arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel–
4 rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.
5 For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands,
6 as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, whose daughters you are if you do good and are not afraid with any terror.
7 Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.    

1 Pet 3:1-7 (NKJV)

It is important to note that it’s only God that can determine how well you are doing the “husband or the wife thing, the boyfriend or the girlfriend thing, and/but while on earth your spouse determines your scorecard.

6 THINGS WOMEN WANT IN THEIR MEN THAT MAKES FOR GREAT SPOUSE

  1. A FAITHFUL MAN

1 Cor 4:2 – Moreover it is required in stewards that one be found faithful.

Pro 20:6 – Many a man claims to have unfailing love, but a faithful man who can find?

She wants you to look away from all others and focus on her.

African men are thought or expected to be “animalistic” act like dogs; flirt and cheat.  But not all men are the same, so don’t blame him for what he hasn’t done, don’t classify him with every man. 

  1. A GODLY MAN

A man who can lead her spiritually, that can rightly explain scripture. A husband that loves and seek God.

Gen 25:21 – Now Isaac pleaded with the Lord for his wife, because she was barren; and the Lord granted his plea, and Rebekah his wife conceived.

  1. A MAN THAT BELIEVES IN HER

A man who believes in her, not just as a piece of asset or completed project. A man that sees her as valuable as important and treats her as such.

  1. A MAN THAT IS ROMANTIC AND AFFECTIONATE

She wants to be hugged, pecked, kissed, touched…, but note that this should be in the confines of marriage.

Gen 2:25 -And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed. Note the emphasis on “man and his wife”, the bible said his wife and not just “the woman” because nakedness in marriage is honorable, sex in marriage is honorable, there’s no shame in it. But outside of marriage, it is a total shame.

Heb 13:4 Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge.

  1. SHE WANTS A PROTECTIVE HUSBAND, NOT A POSSESSIVE HUSBAND.

a. Financial protection – buy properties in your joint name or her name.

If you have something and your wife has no access to it, you are a wicked man. It’s a covenant relationship, it’s a pride when your wife can use what you have, smell how you spell

b. Social protection – in crisis, take up the heat, be a shield around her.

  1. SHE WANTS COMPANIONSHIP

Talk, gist, listen to her. Create time to listen to her. She wants a friend.

  1. ASK HER WHAT SHE WANTS.

Interest differs with person, added to the six above listed point, get to know what she will want you to do differently, what she will want you to stop or start.

WHAT DOES A MAN WANT

  1. RESPECT

What happens when you talk to him anyhow, talk while he’s talking. Respect is relative to every man. It’s not easy to respect a man who you know cheats or does wrong to you, but God says respect him all the same, treat him more than he deserves. 1 Pet 3:1. Every time you respect him, you respect the God that placed him above you.

When a man says it’s OK, it’s OK, don’t tell him, it’s not OK.

For the single ladies, if you can’t respect him, don’t marry him.

2.  APPEAL TO HIM

Be sexy for him. Be hot for him, know what he likes and do/wear/use it for him. Dress for him, appeal to him. In a bid to look sexy, be mindful of other male gender. The “single time” is not the time to wear those for him.

Do you have what will make him want to come home at the close of each day?

3.  MEN LIKE SEX

Sex is therapeutic, don’t starve your husband (not boyfriend), don’t make sex a tool to bargain, get what you want or punish him when you don’t. He needs it, let him loose, let him enjoy himself. And the men will say! AMEN!!!

4.  MEN LIKE FOOD

Don’t give him the same food every time. There’s nothing honorable about not being able to cook. There’s something about food.  Though he might not mind the noodles and bread sometimes, but still go the extra mile. It’s not about the quantity, but the quality, serve it in a very nice dish, serve it in a different way every time, use a different type of sauce… Learn how to cook.

Ladies your hand is blessed, not being able to cook is not trendy. Make your kitchen nice, put an AC, TV, buy a pressure cooker to make cooking faster…anything that’ll make you want to spend time in the kitchen.

5.  MEN NEEDS APPRECIATION

It takes a lot to be a man, the whole pressure both sexually and physically, If you have a man, appreciate him. That he comes home every night, appreciate him. If he is trying, working…the whole money may not have come yet, but appreciate him, let him know you appreciate him, don’t complain and compare. Make him feel like your man.

6. LOVE WHAT HE LOVES

a. Love his work – Every man first loves their “work”.

b. Love his game – be it soccer, hockey, swimming, even if you don’t love to swim, go splash water in his face.

c. Love his family – this start from his kids; be a good mother, love his mother, love is father, they may be unlovable but love them, because he love them.

7.  ASK HIM

Ask him what he wants, what you’re doing wrong, what you want him to do differently. If you ask him, one day he will ask you out obligation or responsibility.

Thank you for reading, I am sure you have learnt something, you have gotten something to do to spice up your marriage or relationship. Put those keys to work. For the single brother and single sisters, make those point your “search index”. 

As you see in point 7, this post is not complete yet, so fill it up, share what you want in your man or your woman. let someone learn, who knows, he or she might just stumble here and learn 😉 or better still, you will just share the link to this page and he will get to see your comment.

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How important is sexual compatibility and how can it be judged? Read here; SEXUAL COMPATIBILITY

And to know about one of the most important factors in making the right choice, read; BOY MEETS GIRL; MAKING THE PERFECT CHOICE

Does it take great experience to have great sex in marriage? read here;  SEXUAL NAIVETY

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Thank you reading, looking forward to reading your comment 😀

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Is there a question you will like to ask about the married life, especially from a newly wed? Send it to mail@lifegiva.com and the answer will be published in a future post.

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