Have you ever felt like you were deceived into loving someone? I mean, they told you they loved you, just to later find out that they did not? Probably because they didn’t know for sure what love was and thought what they had for you was love or they knew pretty well that they didn’t love you but plainly deceived you into thinking they did. Yeah, it happens and I wrote well about it in the post I titled “GREATEST LIE EVER TOLD: I LOVE YOU”.
This post is like that also, but this time, the receiver is the deceiver.
I believe its great injustice and plain evil to give someone hope where none exists. Come on, even if you might gain a lot from holding on to them and fooling them into loving you, think about what they stand to lose. Anyways, I don’t need to stress that cos I did already in a post read by so many, I titled it “HOOKEE AND HOOKER”.
Not everyone that replies your “I love you” with an “I love you too” really loves you too. And in this context, I mean the romantic “I love you”, not the religious or complimentary kind.
We are pretty familiar with people being deceptive with their claim of love, but why in the world would you give a deceptive “I love you too”? Why should you deceive someone into believing that you love them?
- YOU DON’T WANT TO BREAK THEIR HEARTS
I see someone going *Awwww*, stop it! As much as this seems like pity, yes, you care about them, you’ve seen that the person truly and deeply loves you and replying the way they expect or at least, playing along for the main time till you get your big escape (changing location, starting a new job, you name it).
If we consider the end of this, it will be worse off than having told them right from the beginning that you don’t love them, or they are not you type, or you see them as just friends (lol…the friendzone bombshell) because even though they are hurt temporarily for not getting what they wanted, it won’t hurt like the pain of being deceived.
You can’t help it that you don’t love me and therefore you can’t accept me romantically. But you can help by not deceiving me, or making me think you love me.
- YOU DON’T WANT TO LOSE WHAT YOU ARE GETTING FROM THEM
I elaborated on this well in the article “HOOKEE AND HOOKER”, but I’ll still mention a bit of it.
A Nigerian slang that goes along with this is the word “maga”. You are getting a benefit from the fellow, be it financial, material or emotional, sexual…and the person dropped the “I Love you” bombshell. You know if you let them know the true state of your heart and affection to them, the “benefits” will probably stop flowing, so you give them the deceptive “I love you too” so that the rain of blessings won’t stop falling.
This is the reason why some double date. It is because they are receiving different benefits from different individuals. They have Cash Madam/Baba Olowo, Romantic Segun, Advicer Amaka and so on.
We all can assume what might happen when the love-giver eventually finds out that he/she has been played for what he/she had all these while. It won’t be a funny scene. I’m sure we have heard of stories of rape after breakup or an ex demanding all the gifts he gave the person be returned.
- HE/SHE SAID THAT “GOD TOLD ME YOU ARE MY WIFE/HUSBAND”
Lool…this is funny but true. Never accept a proposal into a relationship or marriage, even business just because the person said “God told them” when God has not told you.
If God told them, what then does it take God to tell you?
I’ll like to address the issue of “hearing from God”. Do you know that if God wants to talk to you, you won’t miss it? You might not accept it o, or you might not understand, but He will cut through the clod and roar it across the sky if that is what it takes.
Okay, back to the matter.
I understand that most people that fall victim of this are people, especially ladies of course, that hold these men in high esteem as spiritual brothers and sisters, and believe that if they said that God told them, that means God actually told them. How foolish!
Remember there is a verse in the bible that says some people’s God is the belly, some serve mammon (i.e. Money) in place of God, and trust me, Love with all the mushiness that comes with it can interfere with some people’s spiritual ears and talk to themselves mimicking God’s voice…lol…God save us from Karashika. So you don’t know which God is talking to them, it could have changed between yesterday and today.
And I must also add, that “God said” is not all you need to jump into a relationship- a life-long, till-death-do-us-part relationship with someone. You must find the person attractive, it’s very important. We stated it in a previous post, “SEXUAL COMPATIBILITY” that the person must be capable of making you horny.
Aside from that, you must agree on all basic life and religious beliefs, remember that you can’t walk together except “you be agreed” (Hosea 6:4).
And I’m certain that he must be a Christian and not just a good person. I spoke at length on that in the post “THE FOUNDATION OF A PURPOSEFUL RELATIONSHIP”. Anyways, I guess he won’t say that God told him if he isn’t a Christian, except he’s being really deceptive- which people can be.
- YOU WANT TO GIVE IT A TRY
There are cases where you are sincerely not sure what you feel for that person, you probably don’t find him/her too attractive, or they don’t specifically meet the criteria of what you want in a mate, but they excel in some areas, so you want to give it a try.
I bet lot of relationships and dating that have ended in marriages started this way, but at the same time, this kind of “trial-and-error” relationship is shallow rooted, because instead of settling down to build a relationship, you’ll spend the entire time checking how well the person is meeting or falling short of your standards, and any minor issue will trigger the demise of the relationship since there is no deep commitment.
Honesty is the best policy” isn’t just wisdom for the work place; it’s wisdom for living.
The least we owe everyone is the truth, even if it will hurt them. They will get over it and appreciate you for it on the long run, and at least you won’t severe the future possibilities of hooking up with them.
No one is worth tying down when they are not the perfect one for you.
And to all my brothers and sisters out there that will be receiving the “I don’t love you”, “you are not my type”, “we are better as just friends”…take it in good faith. I’m sure there is someone out there that will be crazy about you like you will be about them, and I’m sure you don’t want anything less than that.
And to all those who have a thing for spiritual brothers and sisters, may God help you and sharpen your discernment. Amen.
I still believe that someone’s heart (emotions) is too delicate to toil with.
For someone to have loved you and still go vocal about it, you should handle your response with caution and respect.
Thank you reading , looking forward to reading your comment. And please remember to share to your social media:D
* * *
Other related posts:
* * *
Remember to subscribe to receive new post right in your email box (scroll doneand fill in your email address in the field provided).