My question goes like this……

As a young lady, you are in a serious relationship with a guy and you have prayed about him and it was revealed that he is the right one! You went to Pastors to pray and the same was revealed that he is the perfect man for you.

But he is the aggressive type, gets angry often and hits you at the slightest thing. Will you still go on marrying the guy because already you have been told he is the right man or will you quit the relationship?

Answer

I will try to reply this from an all-encompassing perspective. When a man is looking for a wife, it’s different from when a boy is looking for a girlfriend. So you must ask yourself, Why am I getting into this relationship? For what purpose exactly? You see many guys that are in relationships and beat their girlfriends have these in common

They don’t know the true definition of Marriage, therefore they don’t cherish it.

Ladies, A man that is trying to find a wife (not a sex partner or a girlfriend) will not raise up his hands to hit that person because he recognizes the reason for their being together which is primarily for Marriage. He will act right and put himself together in the right and best possible way because the person who ordained that institution ordained some principles and guiding laws for how it should work.

Jesus because of the glory that was set before him (his ultimate goal for coming to earth) endured the pain and suffering. Any guy that cannot look at you as Christ looked at His Church and love you as Christ loved and tolerated His Church -some of them who actively participated in killing him back then- is still a boy and needs to go back to grow and groom himself for what he is getting into.

When a Man finds a wife, He obtains favor from God.

A man must have control over his own self, as a matter of fact, people are called man or woman because it is believed they have grown past some childlike phases into more matured phases. Age obviously doesn’t mean one is fully a man or a woman, Character shows this.

So are there people with anger issues? Yes, but you must groom yourself while you are single so you don’t become a burden to anyone else. That means, go to whoever you need to go to for help, read books, see a counselor and practice your improvement with your everyday life not with a girlfriend.

The waiting period ladies are for this! So instead of people being desperate to enter a relationship, you must endeavour to keep finding yourselves. Find you! There is no way you will be finding you and you won’t know that you have some terrible characters that you need to change. It is only a serious man that will make conscious effort to change and transform himself before going to get a wife.

So, here’s the truth: “Any guy who hasn’t found himself before trying to find you is less likely going to take you seriously“.

Also, there is nobody that understands what obtaining favor from God is and treats what made him gain favor anyhow. If a guy understands – I mean UNDERSTANDs- what He has especially if you are for him, the difference will be apparently clear.

Please, the option of correcting a man is for those that are already married. That option is usually given first of all so that divorce isn’t the first option (in which sometimes it may or may not work).

The option of correcting a man is for those that are already married. Click To Tweet

Please if you are single, concern yourself with pursuing your purpose and vision. Now you can influence him to be better and I am not disputing that fact. But if you must do that, please do that from “outside” the relationship, if He then becomes a man, You may come back together after proper and true spiritual leading “if he is for you”.

The fruits of the Spirit is and will continue to be [technology will never change this, not in 100years to come] are: Love; joy; peace; patience; kindness; meekness; goodness; faithfulness(Amplified version, emphasis added)

You have to first grow this to a particular measure because we grow daily, then look for a measure of these things in your man, and trust me a measure of each can make you a best behaved human being.

This and the characteristics of Love should be your guide

1 Cor 13 – Patient & Kind, not boastful, not arrogant, not rude, it endures, is not easily angered, it’s not selfish, doesn’t keep record of wrongs and so on. I love you is not by mouth, let actions speak.

I love you is not by mouth, let actions speak. Click To Tweet

The word of God is greater than the word of the pope or the greatest pastor in the world. Once his life isn’t going in accordance with what God’s word is saying, you better disappear. It was God that created Marriage not your pastor or spiritual leader. Please let’s always measure with the right source for every information; not only in Marriage but other issues as well.

The word of God is greater than the word of the pope or the greatest pastor in the world. Click To Tweet

Finally; Keep becoming a wife and you will not attract boys. God’s word says that you are far above rubies; there is no man that will recognize such treasure and begin to destroy it.

Ask yourself if you can just carry your phone and start shattering it. If you can’t, while will someone treat you God’s treasure like a valueless commodity? Beware and be watchful.

If a guy is going to mistreat you before you say yes, you will know ‘if you choose not to deceive yourself’. So please calm down, become the person you want to attract first, then test anyone that comes your way before taking a step and take it gradually.

Kindly contribute as a comment below.

Read answers to the previous questions here –>>; THE QUESTIONNAIRE

Nkechi Chiazor

 wondiva2015@gmail.com 

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