Young man and woman holding hands behind the back of another woman

This topic “Hooker & Hookee “was a major focus of an episode of my best all-time comedy series, “How I met your mother“.

Putting someone on the hook is something we must have all done at a time or the other and I bet, except you are married or strongly engaged (even though still not guaranteed with this), you are either on someone’s hook, making you the Hookee or you have someone on your hook, making you the Hooker.

“I like you so much, but I don’t think anything can work out between us NOW”
OR
“I like you so much…but I’m not just ready for a serious commitment NOW”

“NOW”…that is the keyword.

We can’t date everyone we like or that likes us, but at the same time, we don’t want to let them (him/her) go. Most of the time it’s either of these two reasons.

· INSURANCE/FUTURE SECURITY
Here, the Hooker can’t entertain the thought of starting from scratch if the relationship he/she is in now fails. The process of getting to like someone new or getting someone to like you, finding the person with the qualities. Maybe you have doubts about your present relationship or it’s struggling, even though you are committed to make it work, you see the Idea of keeping someone (the Hookee) around, so you can have a perfect rebound relationship.

Or, you are still dating; no serious commitment yet, you have come to get fond of each other, but he/she lacks one of the traits, or qualities; a major one, that you seek to have in your ideal partner, so you decided to just keep her around, while you are still all over scouting hoping to find a better a better match before you let her off the hook.

· YOU ENJOY HIS OR HER COMPANY
In this case, you might be in a committed relationship or very single. But you have come to like the company of this fellow (the hookee), for whatever reason. She probably cooks well, gives a nice massage, meets your physical needs. He has a ride, so you spend less on transportation, he’s boxed up and makes a boost of your purse with regular allowance and flashy gifts. Or it might just be that he/she is able to listen well anytime you need an ear, a shoulder to fall on. And you know fully well that letting him/her off the hook automatically ends whatever the benefit you enjoy from them.

You know you are on the hook if someone has ever used any of the …”Now” excuses to avoid a serious commitment with you, while still not wanting you go in search of your prospective partner somewhere else, still wanting to keep you around. Or does he or she after “using you” gives reasons you both can’t work out, but still returns for more? Then you are on the hook, my friend. You better check you “Hookee status“.

In my opinion; I feel it’s totally unfair on the hookee. You leave him or her waiting, thinking something meaningful will result from what you have, but you know right within that you don’t have any immediate plan/need for the person, but you are merely using them for what they have to offer, while making them think they are investing in what will turn out to be a relationship between you both.

The “Hooking” case is different from the “Friend-zone”. The friend-zone rules out the possibility of a relationship and makes it obvious in a way of not making the person expect too much, but “Hooking” does the opposite, deceives you to think that you’re on a part of a happy ending not knowing that you are alone on the ride to nowhere.

Why make them wait for what is not coming? Why make them wade off all possible suitors thinking they have gotten to the end of their search?

One thing you must know is that, while you have someone on your hook, someone has you on his/her hook. Put yourself in her shoes, spending her limited earning, cooking for you. It might not be a financial sacrifice, time, even the chance of meeting the right person for them thinking they’ve found you. You definitely don’t want that for yourself, why do it to others?

Let go of this wicked act, let go, you won’t die even after the benefit from him/her/them stops flowing in. Let him/her/them off your hook.
And for those who have put themselves on the hook, wake up to reality. You deserve to be a man’s or lady’s no 1, stop settling down for the less than the best, if you don’t let go of what you have, you will never attain the much better you could have attained.

Let us declare this week for the lifegiva2 family, a “letting off the hook week”. Let that person off your hook and you might just be starting a chain reaction to letting yourself off the hook.

Do you have someone you’ll like to let off the hook? Send them the link to this post and add the message “I am sorry

On behalf of all those that got this post with the “I am sorry” tag, I hope you find a place in your heart to forgive, being fully aware of what you might have lost which I am sure is definitely irrevocable. It takes a lot of courage to let go, and I feel it is commendable.

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Thank you for reading. I’ll be waiting to see your comment. Do remember to subscribe with your email so as to get every post directly in your email box. And take note of my new Blackberry channel PIN.

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