This was a piece of advice from a friend’s mum to her. “Marry the man that loves you, not the man you love.”
Here are her reasons; the man that truly loves you will stay with you all through thick and thin, but if you choose the man you love over the one that loves you, it will take more from you to make the marriage work.
Also, all men are prone to cheat, but a man that loves you in the heat of the temptation will remember you. Even if he falls, he’ll open up to you and make it up, but if it happens to the man you love, he will most likely not think of you, and when he finds who he loves, will eventually leave you.
What do think of this advice?
I know that best is if both partners love each other mutually and equally. But in the case where you are unsure of what your heart thinks, where you have more than one good man/woman on your plate, this advice might come in handy.
I’m waiting for our sincere, real and practicable opinion, probably with a bit of past experience on this.
Thank you for reading, I’ll be waiting to see your comment. 😉
Few Discussions you might find interesting;
Where’s d happiness if she’s nt sure of her love 2 him or if she doesn’t love him as much as he loves her
This is so true! I totally believe this because there is no way you won’t later love the man that loves you. But he should have a personal relationship with God oh. We don’t love at first sight now! We grow in love like someone told me. The man that loves you will certainly understand you and speak your love language which will keep appreciation, friendship and love growing in you. Besides men are more likely to tell lies and cheat than women. But this one would be honest! Ah i won’t dull if i find that man…but he shuld hav all d good qualities in a man that i wuld love. Lmao!
No offense but I find this advice to have some faults to it and also advice shouldn’t be based on what has happened to others. So here is where I find faulty ; 1. All men are prone to cheat – including you Tolu! 2. Because of his Love for you he won’t cheat or he would tell you when he does! For the first point I seriously beg to disagree not all men are prone to cheat and will cheat! Secondly, Marry a man that loves God. A man won’t cheat because of his love for a woman but rather his love for God! Also a man that Loves God understands Love and will be able to Love a woman with the love of God which includes standing by her side irrespective of what happens. This is the worlds way of Love and thats why love looks faulty this days! When I told Pastor Iren about a friend, one of the basic question he asked is – Is he a God Lover? That is the best yardstick for your decision. As a matter of fact if we are loving God’s way I don’t think there should be measurement because we are showing love as set by the Holyspirit. Sorry for the long epistle, I hope I have added to this topic?
Mmm, thats a Tough one. Well I’d go for the one that loves me (because the marriage will be a bit stressless )but under one condition, which is, he must be likeable by me. If he is someone I just can’t tolerate then I’m going for the one I love.
I beg to differ. The relationship still won’t go well if the love is not mutual. I cannot love a woman who doesn’t love me and might never get love to me since there’s another – it’s totally pointless.
If a lady marries a man that loves her and she doesn’t love..aswear she won’t be happy and she will regret it. at a stage she will see someone she loves and she will cheat.
It’s better for a lady to marry a guy that loves her more than she do..if she loves the guy more, d guy will take her love for granted.
All men have the tendency to cheat and d love a guy have for a lady doesn’t say he shouldn’t cheat but if a guy loves nd fear God , he won’t yield to the temptation of cheating.
I’ll marry both lol.I aint going for no man I don’t love.I know most times you’ll end up having to fall in love with him (of course you have no choice,you’re already married to him). What if you nau later find someone who loves you like that and you really love back. You will nau be trying hard to stay. Thinking of the children and what people will say. Lol ok to be realistic this won’t happen especially if you’ve already fallen in love with your husband. But really, in my opinion, marriage isn’t a do or die affair. No need to just settle. If you’re not totally convinced, then just chill. Instead of doing lemme manage the one that loves me, I’ll love him back when we get married. 3-| . Its possible but I don’t like it lol.If I’m attracted to the one that really loves me, then I’ll give it a try. If not no way. I also will NEVER settle for someone that doesn’t love me.
My sincere comment… I’ve seen both.
You can’t make a person love you. That is one miracle only God can perform; Love is a choice too.
If you choose a man who loves you but one you don’t love, you’ll just find it impossible to respect him…you’ll despise him. If you choose a man you love he might hurt you more.
So I’d say none.
If you love a man, you must wait until he loves you…love grows
If the man loves you, he must wait for you as well…love is patient.
But we must remember that success in marriage is not dependent on love; lots of other things…outstanding amongst them is understanding and agreement.
So, wait. watch. Love is a miracle. And to have two hearts beating for each other is a divine.
You don’t love doesn’t mean you can’t and you’re not love doesn’t mean you’ll not. Don’t use present situation decide your life time. All I’d say is simply watch and wait until you see your change come. No need to rush. Things rushed are hardly done right.
My Dad as told me d same thing b4 but as someone said he’s should be likeable at least
Its important to go for a man dat luvs u, cos he wil do anytyn jst to make u happy.al u jst nid is a little luv at first(evn if its luv ur neighbour as urself) nd trust me as a woman d luv wil grow. Remembr d bible says men luv ur wife,ever wanderd y d bible did nt giv wives same instruction….its bcos we as women av luv in us directly frm God. Nd as for men cheating, men ar actually prone to cheatin, no matter hw spiritual dey got blood in deir veins. Wat kips dem frm doin is d fear of God, nd d love for deir wife to avoid hurting d woman dey luv. ……i luv my husband so much but nb: he luved me first nd still does byond my imaginations
At the end of the day its not love that sustains a marriage. This love we r even talking about, what does it even mean. Friendship is more important in a marriage because the so called love fades away but true friendship wouldn’t. So my advice is marry someone who’s ur friend n u r attracted to also. Capiche!
The ‘so called love’ never fades away…
I’d go with d mother’s advice.
I tink d mum is right.d woman shuldnt luv d man more dan he does her,but d luv must be der though.This is bcos a man who trully loves a woman will respect her evn in her absence.for example,wen he is faced wit challenges;’women’,he wnt b nokd dwn by d challenges cos of d love nd respect he has for her..
Well, I somehow agree with the moms advice, there is definitely wisdom to it. It’s also wisdom to know that you shouldn’t marry someone you don’t love regardless of how much he loves you, it would be a most irritating marriage. Yes, love should be mutual but there are situations when the person you love shows a greater deal of patience and affection, Wisdom is when you use it to grow your love and relationship. Stupidity is when you take advantage of it and cheapen the love.
Yes! I agree with you
Yea have heard dat opinion before. However, I think u wont be fulfilled and happy. Cos as long as u have dat other person there that u really love and can sacrifice all for, ur heart will be wavy, prone to yield to temptation nd cheating, silent wishes, etc
Talking 4rm experience its rilly gud 2 marry d man dt luvs u cos he ll stay wit u in all situatns ,but av also seen a case wia d guy luved d lady but d lady neva Luved d guy nd d marriage eventually broke up. Deir’s ds sayin dt two can’t work 2geda except dey agree so to me, I tink dey should both luv demselves 4 deir Best interest.
Eph 5:25 has said it all Husbands love ur wives as christ loved d church. The man shld love more dan d woman. A woman’s dutu is to respect her husband. The fact here is dat a woman can’t respect a man she doesn’t love. For d records, women r loving beings. #drops Mic.
Hmmm.This post has some elements of truth.Pardon me to rephrase the part of “All guys are prone to cheat” to guys are more prone to cheat than ladies”. (I think this is better). And also, I believe a guy that loves his wife unconditionally wont cheat, a guy that also loves his woman so much will also make the relationship more stable and it will be stressless for the lady. Even the bible says husband love your wife just like the way Christ loves the church (Eph 5:26). God bless you
My point exactly…
My dad said “luv him cos he married u, dnt marry him cos u luv”, I bliv it all comes down to understandin, n luv 4 God cos witout those two it won’t wrk out luv or no luv. So b wise in choosing ur life partner
Lols, everyone as tried with d comments, itz best when ur hubby luvs u d more BUT u must b attracted to him in one way or d other else u wld be tempted to cheat wen u c d one u luv AND get ready for a lifetym of unhappiness and playing along.it an insane world, he might be trying hard to mk u happy n u wld be dere pretending to be happy n trust me, u wld hurt him at tyms cos pretence wnt be easy.SO HE LUVS U LIKE CHRIST N U R NT ATTRACTED! KINDLY BACK OFF Even I itz at d expense of ur mums happiness. Speaking from experience#winks.
On the surface, this kind of comment would make us females feel great! However, I find this fault with the statement, the fact that the Bible says….’the heart of man is desperately wicked, who can know it?’ I interpret this to mean that you can NEVER be sure that another human being loves you, because except God reveals it, you have no way of knowing what someone is truly thinking. (Remember that meme that says that if you only knew what people said before or after they answered your call, you might never call them again?) So, Basically, You can only choose to TRUST that a person loves you and that their actions are genuine.
Marrying some is a leap of faith, a choice to keep trusting in the love that they profess through words or actions. Because, you can only be SURE of your love for them, but not of theirs for you. But that’s okay because marriage is one of the greatest acts of love and loving someone is one of the greatest acts that requires an inordinate amount of sacrifice and commitment among other things.
I hear someone say ‘by their fruits you shall know them’. Well remember the fig tree that Jesus cursed? It looked like it had fruit, but upon closer inspection, it really didn’t.
So what is my point? Marry someone that you love and are sure you will be willing to sacrifice for NO MATTER WHAT. Someone that God has approved for you.
Does that mean you shouldn’t look out for any ‘fruit’ or sign of love from them? Absolutely Not, please do, but DON’T count on it.